Welcome to 2019

Ahahahahahahahahaaaaa uhhh it’s been a while.

I’m obviously late to the whole summing up the previous year and welcoming in the new year party. The latter half… no… actually 2018 didn’t start off well and then by the end of the year it had pretty much ended up as a massive pile of do-do.

As I’ve interacted with people over the past few months and weeks I realise I’m not alone in this experience. Life has been a struggle for many, many people. There have been illnesses, trauma, death, financial worries, employment worries, changes in circumstances, you name it.

Me lately? I had surgery mid-December. It’s the same old story: I have endometriosis and my ovaries are world champion cyst growers. I had a massive cyst on my right ovary that was basically trying to take up every bit of room in my pelvic cavity.

But the recovery, oh the recovery. It’s been rocky, let me tell you. I’ve had an infection, I’ve had a mystery burning pain, I’ve felt sick, depressed and sore. I even spent a night in the Emergency Department because I was out of my mind worrying that I’d permanently have this burning pain inside. The only way I can describe it is like my internal organs were/are on fire–an internal inferno, as my sister likes to call it–and I just could not get any relief. January has been the pits.

Cut to this afternoon. I’ve just been to see my specialist yet again. Lo and behold I’ve grown another decent-sized cyst in just under six weeks. I’ve still got a burning pain (although hopefully, that will go away after today) and I’m feeling pretty depressed.

I just have to keep telling myself that this is temporary. Things will get better, surely. Onwards and upwards, so they say.

On another note, I’ve decided I need to learn to sew. I’ve reached a point in my life now where I look at my clothing, look at what I can buy in stores and I’m both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the same time. What with my health being less than optimal, I’ve lost weight and my body shape has changed. Nothing fits right. I’m not comfortable. I can’t find clothes that I like. So maybe if I can just learn some basics and sew things that fit my body, then maybe I’ll feel a bit better in myself.

I’ve also decided I need to do a bit of a purge. I’m going to clean out my cupboards. I’m also vowing to myself to not go crazy with the skincare purchases and use what I have for now. I don’t want to be tied down by a bunch of stuff.

The other thing I want to do is go on holiday for longer than five days this year. I have the UK on my mind. I just need to get my butt into gear and renew my passport and actually start looking at flights, accommodations, and plans to meet up with friends over that way.

For now, I’m going to resume relaxing on the couch in my pyjamas and cuddle my cat before heading to bed to read my latest book.

February will be better…