Candle Fail

30 May

I’m not sure if you know this about me, but I hate perfume. I hate it with a passion.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to like perfume when I was in my teens, but then I started to notice that it had a tendency to trigger awful headaches. I think I was finally tipped over the edge when one Christmas I was given perfume as a gift from three separate people, one of which was a set of Elizabeth Taylor perfume. Just opening the lid was like opening Pandora’s Box of Migraines. That story, however, is for another time.

I guess It’s kind of peculiar, then, that I like scented candles. They are the only kind of scented thing that I can tolerate and would even go so far as to say that I actually like. I’m pretty particular about what kind of scents I like too. Therefore, the following should never have happened.

Kids, never ever buy fragranced items online if you’ve never smelled them before. What sounded quite delicious in the item description turned out to be totally gross. I bought a set of four soy candles from a deals website and regretted it as soon as I opened the box.

There was a vanilla one but it was sickly sweet. There was a coconut and lime one that sounded exotic but actually smelled like a cross between detergent and goodness knows what. The fig one was way too pungent. The only vaguely nice one was pear scented, but after I’d let it sit on the bench for a couple of weeks, I couldn’t bear it any longer.

I managed to give the fig one away after burning it briefly outside on the balcony with the doors shut. The other three I literally melted out of their glass containers using a bowl of boiling water and a knife. It was a cathartic experience destroying those candles. Very therapeutic indeed.

It was a totally stupid thing to do, to order them online. Normally I spend a fair amount of time in shops looking peculiar as I sniff each candle. Common sense should have told me that I shouldn’t waste my money on something that I’m not guaranteed to like.

So, if the fancy ever takes you to order some candles online, make sure that you’ve smelled them at some point previously and that you actually like them. If you’ve made the same mistake I’ve made, do one of the following–return them and ask for a refund, chuck them out or destroy them.

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