No More Knots

31 Aug

I’ve just come back and showered after going to No More Knots for a remedial massage appointment. I’ve been going there since April this year on the recommendation of the receptionist at my old workplace. I’ve been getting migraines since I was sixteen and I thought it’d be worth a try.

“Beware” she said, “It’s not your relaxing type of massage”. Obviously this is not verbatim because she said this months ago and I have trouble remembering what I’ve said within a day. But it was along those lines and she was definitely right. Remedial massage operates on a trigger point therapy kind of system, which basically means they find dodgy tight bits in your muscles and press on them really hard to release the tension.

So far I’ve seen three different people. They’ve all had different techniques but they’re all really good.

Tonight I met the third guy. I wasn’t actually expecting to have him and did a mild panic before he came out that I’d have some freaky old dude and I didn’t want to take off my clothes for him. But, he turned out to be a really nice guy. That’s a relief – you probably wouldn’t want to be alienating your clientele with creepy therapists.

Back to my original story. Tonight I met Mr Nice, who first explained to me why my posture was so dodgy and how he hoped to fix it. Then I was told to undress as he stepped out for a minute or two and then lie on the table for when he returned. So I did. Then he came back, began and tried to make conversation.

First he asked me how my day was, which turned into talking about my job, then somehow where I was from originally, to my current living arrangement. This led on to talking about the friend whose house I’m living in and how we met, which then turned into a conversation about my religion and what I do in my spare time. I also got to listen to him hum along to one of the songs playing in the background. It was all very interesting.

Then things went silent. This was probably because he was concentrating very hard on pressing very hard on all the tight spots in my back. Every now and then he’d ask me if I was ok and if I was sure I was ok, because he was using quite a bit of pressure. I was fine. I’d just say, “Mhmm” or “yep, I’m fine” because I was. I mean, it did hurt a lot, but not beyond what I could handle.

Three times he commented on my pain threshold. Occasionally something would release and he’d say, “good”. But then he was like, “gosh, you’re as tough as nails”. Then, “Wow, you’re T-O-U-G-H”. (I had to think for a second whether he’d actually spelled tough). Then finally, “Jesus, what’s your pain threshold?”. Is it bad that I’m kind of proud about that?

He also noticed that I’d kept my boots on, which he became quite enamoured with. I believe I got them from Williams last year, but I’ve never seen anything like them since. I love them and am secretly worried that they’ll fall apart and I won’t be able to wear them anymore. He also asked me if I was a fan of cats and I replied, “How can you tell? Is it the earrings (cat pendants) or the cat scratches?”. Apparently it was the earrings and I didn’t have to draw attention to my poor scratched and scarred arms.

Nearing the end he prodded around my neck and jaw and then he said, “Well, Sarah in boots, I’ll let you get robed again and then I’ll come back”. But he didn’t go straight away like I thought he would. He kind of gave me a brief head massage and I had to stop myself from letting a giggle escape my lips because I was thinking about that episode of IT Crowd where Roy gets a massage and the masseuse kisses him on the butt cheek.

I got dressed again and was given some more stretches that I should be doing. I’ve been given some of these before but Little Miss Stubborn Forgetful me has neglected to do them regularly. I may or may not have been given a stern talking to.

Well, I probably haven’t painted an amazing picture of what my experience was like. I actually enjoyed myself this evening, as weird as that sounds. I really liked Mr Nice and his funny conversation and intense massage skill.

If you’ve got muscle problems or sports injuries, maybe remedial massage is worth a try. I know I haven’t had a migraine since June and that’s amazing, because I would get one every couple of weeks.

So something must be working, right?

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