procrastination

16 Jun

Remember me saying a while ago that I am a good procrastinator?

Well, on the weekend I went to the Lifeline Bookfest and bought a few books and a jigsaw puzzle. This was a terrible idea. All week I’ve been spending ages fitting in puzzle pieces and sneaking in a chapter of a book before sleeping.

I STILL haven’t done any work for my diploma and I said to myself a couple of months ago that I would have completed the first unit by the end of June. Massive fail.

Someone said to me not so long ago that if I really wanted to get this diploma, that I would do the work for it – that the desire for the result would fuel my motivation. In some respects he’s right – if I want this enough I will get off my butt to do it. Then, in other respects, coming back to study after five years of simply working (excepting a Cert III in Business Admin that I did as a traineeship) is a really daunting prospect. I was never good at setting aside study time. I would always leave things until the last minute at school. So to now be working full-time, maintaining some sort of a social life AND studying is really scary.

So I think that’s it. The fear of failure and that I don’t know what I’m doing is crippling me. I have to fill in a log book and just looking at it makes me want to cry. I’m thinking of having a do-over. Starting fresh and not procrastinating.

I just have to finish that jigsaw first.

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